I came to Texas while living in a school bus I had converted to a Tiny House inside. I had $640 to my name and knew no one, had no job lined up, but decided I needed to go out and earn a million dollars so I could self publish the book I was writing. True, at 29, I did not have enough real life experience to write about the energy of soul and what we can do with it, but that is what I dreamed of doing.
If I had succeeded at committing suicide at 15, the rope stretched and left my toes dancing on the floor hanging from the pipes in the basement, the tale of Tiny Texas Houses would never have been told. So many kids these days are committing suicide that it is at epidemic stages, but sadly, so are the people over 55, particularly women.
We are not a happy society based on the values we have come to expect everyone to follow, particularly the American dream of a big house, cars, tv’s, cable, cell phones, and all of the technology that has decimated the family unit as we knew it 60 years ago. Is there a solution? I think so, but it will take more than just my energy of soul to make it happen. It will take a World Union of Believers who are willing to do what it takes to make it happen, to make the planet a better place for more people to find happiness in without taking from everyone else for sake of keeping it cheap in America. If you support slave labor by buying the stuff made by them, you are as guilty as the employer for making it possible. We can stop, change gears, get into sustainable living, downsize, cut out the consumerism and take responsibility for our own lives before bitching about the rest of the world. Will it happen? I am deeply concerned that Americans are too caught up in the antidepressants, drugs, alcohol, and TV which keeps them anesthetized so as to keep on doing the same things and teaching the next generation nothing about how to change it. What will they do without any life skills?This is a link to the beginnings of the book I came to Texas to earn that million dollars to publish. Back then there was no internet to get this out to you in an instant. The video and music could not have reached around the world in minutes and it would have been a miracle to type this out, push a button, and send it to you, around the world in seconds. I earned the million dollars I wanted by the time I was 35, but with it came a million in debt, eventually 3 million in debt and I spent several years of my life paying the $400,000 in taxes, insurance, and other expenses to hold onto the land and things I had invested in. Eventually I pared down the debt to below a million, and made more, but in the process of working 80-100 hours a week to get it, I missed out on my son growing up and when he passed away at 24 years old, I realized how that time meant, and that I would not be getting to make up for it later. Adam Brad Kittel died at the age I was sure I would, to the point of it being a visceral image in my head of not making it to 25 years old. Adam had my name, and died at 24, the vision I had was not of me, but of him. Now I work to create a world for his generation that will be better than what we offer the kids now. I have not been greatly successful, but when he died, I opened up the box with that book I had come to Texas to write and saw a picture I had drawn over 30 years before. Darby, the main character was ready to build the Utopian town of people who believed in another way of thinking about living in this world. The volcanos were going off in his nightmare, the leaders of the world were on the brink of world war, and the earthquakes were beginning to tear up the lands. I had not touched the book in 25 years.
Here is a link to the opening chapter, a dark part of the life of Darby, the main character, who had decided to find out the meaning of his life, fraught with anger, pain, being an outcast, and in a family that was not built on love, but obligation. It is the beginning of the story that led to Tiny Texas Houses, the desire to create an alternative to what we have today so others could know there is another way than the narrative we get from TV and the government. I know most of the followers on Facebook will not go to this link as they are just visiting for the pictures mostly, and the actual message behind the Tiny Texas Houses and the concept of the town of Salvage, Texas are mostly lost.
Creations such as this are a product of a mind that never fit into the society we share.
Is there a fate for each of us? Is there a reason we are alive? If you were told what your purpose was, your deed to do…. would you then dedicate your entire life to that goal, that purpose for your existence on Earth? That was the question posed to Darby once he reached the other side, the spirit without a body side of living. Please check out this musical prelude to the Book of Wibblry and Wub to learn of what Darby was given for his purpose in life. It led to many and adventure, but also to most people thinking he was totally crazy most of his life. That is the burden that goes with knowing what you are here for, and running from it is not a surprise when it seems impossible by every measure you can find, by every person you could ask, and by yourself as your only evidence is not of this world, but what most would consider no more than a dream.
I write from Temple Tantra, a house that only exists because I stayed around, kept living in spite of hating every day of it for years. Please share the hope that others too can come out of that state of mind, that depression that keeps one sleeping 12 hours a day. Hope should be eternal.