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Thoughts & Musings: The Chasm at the Fringe

The Chasm at the Fringe

The entries in my journal show
how fast time passes by,
what seems like days are weeks
and yet the progress seems so shy.

I still have dreams,
I’ve hopes and love
I have a path
I’m walking on,

I see the people come to know
and passion for my dream still grows
but still the struggle seems so hard
the challenges outweigh my charge

Thus once again the New Year comes,
I’m on the brink of one more fall,
The chasm seems the widest yet…
Still stronger comes the call.

While pausing at the edge once more,
I feel the pending chill
the cold winds blow from down below
to sap my heat and will.

I look into the chasm deep,
and see the bones below
the sides too sharp and steep
no hope of climbing out.

I realize it must be faith,
that carries me to dare,
to leap the chasm far and wide
Believe and I’ll get There.

Yet as before, so many times,
I can not help but spy,
that everything I own I risk
if I should fail or die.

The other side, so far away
still beckons me to dare
to run with all the strength I have
to jump, to fly, to soar.

I look behind to see the path
if I should turn away
Its dark with all the sad regrets
I’ll face for all my days

It holds so many wishes,
So many doubts and fears,
it is the fate I do not want,
a living death appears.

What have I if I lose my faith?
What have I left to give?
What would I do until the end?
How would I choose to live?

Once more I look ahead to see,
the fate before my feet,
the goals that I envision
and the tests ahead for me.

I never would have asked for more
or so I did believe,
and yet the scope has widened now
with much more to achieve

Is this my strength or weakness,
this dream I cherish so,
that looks like purpose, draws me on,
How will I ever know?

For now I hold love close to heart,
to learn all that it shares,
my love for life, the people here,
the chance to live and learn.

My ego crushed repeatedly,
my weaknesses exposed,
sometimes I wonder how I will
attain my lofty goals.

The precipice draws closer
as the time to turn runs out,
I draw in sacred energy
and let the power mount

The moment near,
I soon will see,
What comes from this new leap,
with the absolute conviction
I have known that it will take.

I am compelled, no choice involved,
No backing down this day,
I’ll gather all my strength again,
and leap all of the way.

I can not fail,
I must succeed,
My God does chart my way,
the path that I have chosen
was my only path I say.

I gather faith,
I gather strength,
I breath controlled
and long,

I close my eyes,
I see the lights,
I pray to my great God,
and then I start to build up speed,

To free myself of doubt,
To shed my ego,
trade for faith,
and let my past life go.

I must be ever stronger,
ever better than before,
if I’m to reach the other side,
I must be even more.

I leave behind my fear at last,
I leave my smoked escape,
I shed the ego and the lies,
I shed my form and shape

I spread new wings
and leap into
the empty air above
I jump with all the faith I have
and only look afar

So far away I see the edge,
So long I fly it seems,
In God I keep believing
Yet at last I have to scream.

It is for strength,
I swear it is,
not fear, or doubt, or care,
It is my call for Freedom,
and to reach where none have dared.

For those of you who watched this day,
and heard me make this cry,
tell everyone I gave my life,
to live my best or die.

No matter if I make it,
the fact that I believed
will lead the way for someone else,
who finally will achieve.

Thus with each new leap taken,
a great frontier unfolds,
where others surely follow,
from the legends that are told.

I will not be the one to leap,
the farthest of all time,
For chasms ever greater
await others down the line.

Still by giving all I have in life
for what none seek to achieve,
I may live a quantum story
fueling others to believe.

It is the one that leads the way,
out at the furthest fringe,
that proves to others what can be
when others fear and cringe.

It is the crazy man that leaps
with faith his only friend,
that leads the way for others
to solutions in the end.


Brad Kittel